Earlier this month I traveled to Lisbon, as I do every year around this time. It's a long trip; an hour bus ride to Birmingham, a coach from Birmingham to a London airport, and then a two and a half hour plane trip. I started my trip around 7 am and arrived at my dad's at 6 pm.
I do this every year, so I have fine tuned my trip. I know which of my backpacks is the best for the journey. I download films and music for the trip and I bring a charger because I know my battery never lasts the whole trip without a top up. I bring my book and a notebook (you never know when inspiration will strike). I know the best route from the bus to the coach station. I get to the coach and I google the restaurants at the airport and look at the menus so I know in advance what I'll fancy for lunch. I fasten my coat with my seat belt, so I have a makeshift blanket on my knees for the whole trip. When I get to the airport I follow the same strict order of affairs; first I do the check in and get rid of my luggage, then go past security, then find a shop where I can buy a bottle of water, then go to the bathroom, then eat. After eating I try to stay seated as little as possible, so I window shop. Once I land, I go past security first, then bathroom break, then luggage collection.
All of these things have a specific sequence and a logic to it. If you go to the bathroom right after landing you risk getting stuck in a longer queue for your passport check, as your flight mates will catch up with you. If you do it after luggage collection you then have to share your stall with a massive suitcase. Logic and experience have taught me how to fine tune my travel with choreographic precision.
Why am I rambling about this? Because this is my routine. It works for me. And same as I have fine tuned my travel days, I bet you my boyfriend (who also does this every year) will have his own sequence that he has perfected over his years living abroad. And it's so easy to forget that our way is not the only way. That the other person's sequence will have equal merit, even if it follows a different logic. How many times do we get frustrated because other people don't see things like we do. Because they want to do things their way (the pesky bastards!). Because they keep getting in the way of something that you perfected with their ludicrous ideas or lack of sight. I mean, who forgets to carry change to use the bathroom? ;)
And what about the rest of our lives? Night owls living with early risers, coach potatoes cohabiting with gym bunnies, spur of the moment people sharing a life with lifelong planners. Even the simple things, like don't trust me to remember anything you say before I've had coffee, or I don't like to have the loo roll facing the wall. We are all a collection of quirks and preferences. We all need to make concessions. Sharing your life with other people (family, partners, friends, coworkers) means you accept putting up with their quirks because you know they are doing the same thing for you. No matter how much you try to be your best self, sometimes your quirks will get the best of you and you will forget to put the cheese grater back where your partner can find it in the morning. That's called being human.
I love my travel plans. I perfected them lovingly over many many trips back to Portugal. But I know my plans are not the only ones that work. And when I'm not travelling solo, it's great to learn to share and to remember that my partner will have his own travel arrangements he would rather follow. So we compromise. And more often than not, that makes our travel experience so much richer. So be kind, always. Even if it's in something as trivial and a trip. Be kind, always.
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