Wishlist of big dreams

The Secret fanatics believe that you should have a somewhat specific representation of what you want in life (or so I'm told, I've never actually read the book). A list, a collage of images representing your goals and dreams, anything that will inspire you and remind you what it's all about (for you). So here is my attempt at it! However unrealistic or spoiled it may sound I don't really care, the point is to be honest about what I really want, dream big and inspire me to achieve big!

(List made in no particular order of priorities; I'm really just going with the flow and writing faster than I can think, thinking is bad!)

1. I want a job. Something 9-5, Monday to Friday and with a relatively decent pay. It would also be nice if it was something I wouldn't mind doing, something where my quirkiness could be appreciated and that involved a possible career progression.
2. I want to own a house. Three bedrooms or an attic to be converted into an office with room for a double bed (to encorage both families to stay with us every once in a while), a bathtub (I miss having a nice bath!) and a garden to enjoy the rare sunny days.
3. I want a family life. Get married, have kids, be involved and have quality time together.
4. I want cats! Yes, cats! Two! And preferably not a couple of terrorists who would destroy all our stuff the moment we leave the house (we have a lot of memorabilia...)
5. I want to be fit. Or rather to feel healthy and comfortable with my body. Yoga's not gripping me as I thought it would, but I won't give up just yet! It would be nice for flexibility's sake. Also being able to run 5k and get some of my dancing skills back.
6. I want to travel. See the world, having holidays with the people I love.
7. I want house parties and social outings and meeting up with friends and an excuse to dress up and be girly every once in a while.
8. I want cosy nights in, movie nights and quiz/board games nights.
9. I want to step on the stage once more. Even if it's just to say goodbye.
10. I want to find some peace with myself. To be able to truly love myself and be happy in my own skin and proud of the choices I've made along the way. I want to genuinely stop comparing myself to other people and measuring my life and my achievements based on what other people have (which will be nothing short of a life-long struggle).
11. I want to have an inspirational life. Something like what you read on those self-help books and healthy feel-good magazines. I don't mean to say I want people to be inspired by me, rather I want to inspire myself, I want to channel all my good traits and create good things, be an increasingly better version of myself.

So... shall we begin?

The beach season conundrum

In Portugal from the first days of May up to the last days of September every weekend and day off is potentially a beach day. The sun is out (it almost always is), grab your towel and sunscreen and lets go! And this is the sort of mindset I had, just like everybody else. Not that I did do it though. Truth be told I only went to the beach for two weeks on my family's vacation. And that was heaven enough for me! It was the perfect combination of fresh fish and fruit, loads of ice cream, loads of books, loads of time at the beach, walking everywhere, not a care in the world, no peer pressure (it was really just family) and nothing else. And even though it wasn't always perfect and we did clash, in the end we all had our routine pretty much down. My dad would read half the newspaper, my great-aunt the other half, my aunt would read some huge law book and I would read literature. But I digress.

The thing is for those five-ish months going to the beach was always an option, it was always there. And now it's over a thousand miles away and it pains me more than I'd care to admit. I miss it. The sun, the smell of sunscreen, swimming the the sea, hearing the seagulls, I miss it. And it's not like I can complain much; over in the Midlands we've been blessed with quite a number or hot sunny days this year, and I'm very happy and grateful for that. And then I turn on Facebook and there it is. Dozen and dozens of pictures of old friends at the beach. And at times my heart just wants to go back. (Though weather, food and family aside I'd quite happy here and don't dream of moving back for the foreseeable decades).

So it's up to me to find some sort of balance that leaves me content enough with the whole issue. And I realise that may take a few years (because it's not just me anymore, it's also my boyfriend and both families) but if I can pull it off and find some kind of peace with my new reality, then it'll be worth it.