Thankful Thursday # 10

Good morning, everyone! Without further ado here are this week's reasons to be happy:

1. Being with the people you love. Having been here last ten months ago I have missed everyone terribly. And thankfully part of that longing doesn't rear its ugly head until I actually see them again, which is good, you get to kill that I've missed you feeling straight away. And I've been gleefully murdering it every day.
2. Family birthdays in person. Because I only visit Portugal in the Summer and during the Christmas holidays I resigned myself to the idea that there were a lot of things I would forever miss. Namely spending family birthdays with my family. Well, today's my brother's birthday (and tomorrow's my aunt's) and I'm here! Hurray!
3. Portuguese bread. Seriously. If I could I would empty my suitcase and travel to the UK bringing nothing but pounds and pounds of delicious bread. Damn it, why did I have to bring pointless things like clothes and mobile chargers?
4. Having quiet head space. Yummy moments with no one around, just the music you want to listen to and the things you want to do, no strict schedules, so you can take your time, and just treasure your own company.
5. The book fair. The book fair, everyone! Again, as said in #2, I never imagined I would see another book fair for many, many years to come. And yet due to this unexpected turn of events here I am, ready to hunt for literary bargains and have farturas (think churros without the filling) in the park.
6. A sunny weekend at the beach. I don't want to jinx it, so I almost didn't write about it, but here goes... The weather's been crappy since I got here (literally, it turned the day I landed) and tomorrow we're heading off to the beach for a few days. It's basically a bring your sunscreen and your book scenario. Nothing much to do but bask in the sun and read 200 pages a day. Yes please!
7. Finding your off switch. I'm a worrier and it stresses me out. Yet somehow most times my brain still retains the power to switch off the ability to see grand picture and be happy with minor details of my life. I could be freaking out because I've been made redundant a couple of weeks ago. Instead I choose to detatch myself from that for now and enjoy my impromptu holiday. I may not have a job at the moment but hey! cheaper books and birthday cakes!
8. Getting closure and having an action plan. The good thing about seeing all your friends and family is that every time you meet someone for the first time during the holiday you have to explain yet again what happened to your former job and what you're planning to do next. I was actually dreading it because I didn't think it would give me a chance to get any closure and move on, but I found that it really helps. Having to repeat myself on this issue again and again helps me to remember the great things I can take away from my job, how much I loved it and everyone in it, how much I learned and grew and it solidifies my resolve leaving me increasingly more confident with my plans for the future. And that's just plain awesome!

Thankful Thursday # 9

Have you missed this space, boys and girls? I have, but it so happens that weeks have been flying by so fast that I never remember it's Thursday until we get to Friday. So lets seize this opportunity and carry on this fine tradition:

1. Sunshine. It just makes everything better. And it certainly makes me happier and in a great mood.
2. Being home with the family. This has been an unexpected turn of events, having an impromptu holiday, but I decided to make the most of it and just enjoy the time spent next to my loved ones.
3. My lovely boyfriend. In the face of a new crisis he is my rock and he is the sort of person to let me do whatever is best to heal myself. Even if that means dropping our plans so I can fly back to Portugal for a bit.
4. The last five months. I've never - ever! - been as happy as I've been in the past five months. It pains me that there's nothing in my power that would allow me to extend that period of time indefinitely, but I won't cry over it (anymore). I will hold my head high and my heart open, still bursting from all the good I got from that time, and I will brave my future with a smile, knowing those five months made me a better person.
5. Portuguese food. Losing weight and keeping a diet whilst on holiday in Portugal takes a will of steel. It's one thing to dream of chocolate kidneys (not actual kidneys covered in chocolate, we're not that mad), it's quite another to see them less than a foot away and actually being able to buy them.
6. Having time for myself. I don't actually feel I needed it that much, to be honest, however I'm determined to make the most of it and to enjoy it as much as possible. To take it as an opportunity to do things I don't normally get to do. To go on an adventure by myself.

Where is the life that once I led?*

Three days ago I was leading my life as normal. It was just another awesome day. I was happy, everything in my life seemed to be coming together. I had a job I loved, I was maddly in love with the greatest man I've ever met and with whom I've been sharing my life and a flat for almost three years, I was surrounded by amazing people, I had my holidays booked for the summer and then Christmas at my dad's (finally!), loads of cute little plans for the next couple of weeks of getting together with friends, going to Comic Con in London, picnics and all sorts of outings.

And then something changed. And my life seems to have been turned upside down like one of those snow globes that you shake and I know that even when I manage to get back to the right position and angle nothing will be the same. The snowflakes that made up my life will fall differently and I will need to adjust to a new reality.

I have decided that I will be positive about it. Or as positive as I can. Make no mistake, I am distraught. The life I was living was close to perfect. So no, I do not want it to change, not one small bit of it. And yet it must. So the only choice I have in the matter is how to face the storm. In the words of Daenerys Targaryen "If I look back I am lost", so instead of acknowledging what I've lost and how awesome my life was just three days ago I need to look forward. I need to think how I can make this new reality work. I need to distill these past few months and take with me only the good bits that will allow me to have a brighter future than I would've had if those five months hadn't existed at all.

I will persevere and I will weather this storm better equiped than I've ever been before. Sure, it hurts now. It will probably still hurt for a very long time. But as the days go by I believe the choices I've made so far will turn out to be the right ones for me. I have a sort of plan. And somehow it will work out in the end. Because happiness isn't just a collection of good things that happen to you, but the sum of effort, luck, the right frame of mind and a desire to make things work. 

*Kiss me Kate, The Musical

April in review

Wow it's been a while since I last wrote anything, which, boys and girls, is a sign of a busy life! Yes, it's been a whirlwind of events lately. And I find myself more than halfway through May to a point where it's getting a bit hard to think back on my life a few weeks ago. But lets give it a shot nonetheless, shall we?

The grand event in April was our trip to Morocco. It was the setting in stone of this new chapter in our lives. The new job brought a world of hope with it and we could see so many new milestones practically within our grasp, a life with proper holiday getaways such as a short trip to Morocco. The trip itself was absolutely amazing - two days in Marrakesh and two days in the desert. I rode a camel even though I'm massively scared of heights. We spoke a mish-mash of several languages put together. We dared to explore a country that put us way out of our comfort zone, where if you got lost you had no way to even read the street signs. Where food and customs were so different from our own. And we had a great time!

In April I celebrated three months at the new job. Still massively in love with it, every day a bit more. Everything about it is still perfect and it is with great joy that I get up every monday morning and head off to another fun day doing my job around such great people.

In terms of leisure this was the month when we started exploring a bit more. We had a falconry session somewhere in Sheffield. We explored some of our local restaurants. We went abroad. We discovered new places and new things to do in the Midlands.

Also there was Lent. 40-odd days with no chocolate. To be honest I never truly believed I could pull it off all the way to the end, but somehow I persevered through the whole thing, for which I am massively happy! And now who knows? The sky is the limit when you realise that most of your short-comings and limitations are only in your head.

And that's it for April, boys and girls. Soon enough there'll be another month for me to reflect upon, so let me get on with my life, shall I?