Stories our bodies tell

So a few days ago I had a (very thorough) health check thanks to this scheme from work. For the hypochondriac in me, it was heaven because it just gave me the peace of mind I crave. So for about three hours I did blood and urine tests, I got an ECG, I had my spine scanned, my lung capacity tested, body measurements taken, I had my ability to cope with stress tested, amongst other things.

The thing that struck me about half way there was to see how my past showed on all the tests and scans. Beyond everything I inherited through my DNA and the lifestyle I chose to maintain or change, I could clearly see the physical markings of my past on those tests. How my years of singing have affected and reshaped my lung capacity, how the short and irregular yoga sessions have stretched my spine flexibility, how more than a decade of dancing has impacted my muscle resistance and responses. I could see, black on white, how the changes I made in terms of diet and exercise over the last 18 months have made my body ten years younger. And I would see how those seemingly innocuous meditation practices have given me a completely new and abnormal control of my stress levels.

I've read it multiples (over a plethora of forums) that over the course of seven years your body replaces every single cell that makes you you. This means that we are literally completely new people from the individuals we were seven years ago. Everything changes over time. In fact, change is the essence of life. And I love my body for embracing it. I really, really do.

Despite how stubborn and pig-headed I can be sometimes, despite how scarred I've been and the amount of emotional baggage I've carried over the years, my body keeps embracing change. Like it's nothing, as if it's this effortless thing. My body teaches me hope. It shows me how the little things I do today can help reshape the person I will be tomorrow. So I choose to shine today, not just for my sake, but for my tomorrow self.

Bring it on.

Power to the people

Many, many years ago there lived an old lady in my aunt's building. One day the old lady knocked on my aunt's door saying her washing machine was broken and would my aunt mind if she used her washing machine until hers was repaired. Being the good Christian and generally nice person that she is, my aunt said yes, and so the old lady started to come over about once a week with her laundry, and while she waited to the washing cycle to finish they would chat. This went on for a while, and a few months later the old lady passed away. When her house was emptied amongst other belongings there was a washing machine in perfect condition. It was then that my aunt learned that the old lady never needed to use her washing machine; she was simply lonely and that time she spent doing her laundry at my aunts was probably the only decent human interaction she had.

And this makes me think. How many of us are lonely out there? How many - especially in older generations - are ashamed to admit they need a bit of human contact? And how oblivious are we to other people's plight, simply because we dig ourselves too deep into our own lives? Our busy, multitasking existence? Are our glowing screens (those magical instruments that allow us to connect with the world) keeping us from looking eye to eye? From actually seeing what's around us, and more importantly, who's around us? From touching people. Is our constant typing and scrolling keeping us from holding a loved one? From running our fingers through their hair. From actually being there, totally there.

Today as I got comfortable on the bus seat and I grabbed my phone, ready to immerse myself in some video or other, I realised that if I did connect to the web, I would disconnect from the world around me, and I wasn't okay with that. I would miss the sunrise from the top of the A34. I would miss seeing the world awakening around me. I would not see the usual people I see on my commute (the Russian lady with her energy drink, the bloke with a Portugal cap, the executive with his Harry Potter socks). I would drive people away that might otherwise engage me in a morning chat. So I didn't. Today there were no videos, no readings, no games, no quizzes, nothing! Just my eyes taking in the world and my ears welcoming the people. Today was a good day.

Thankful Thursday # 27

Today I am cranky. I am tired and moody and this muggy weather isn't helping. All of these are perfectly good reasons for me to do this again, so here we go!

1. My boyfriend. By far my favourite person in the whole Universe, and I'm the lucky gal to spend my life with him.
2. Lack of rain. The forecast for today said we were due a rainy afternoon. Having forgotten my umbrella at home, I was very pleased to get home safe and dry.
3. Gung-ho! A week ago I ran my very first 5k. With inflatable obstacles, obviously! It was amazing and to this day I'm buzzing with the sense of achievement.
4. Surviving fresh pastries. On my daily commute I pass by a variety of supermarkets and coffee places right when their pastries are fresh out of the oven. I am showered with a feeling of badassery (yes, that's a word!) every morning when I manage to ignore that almost irresistible smell.
5. Push-ups. Yesterday I came to realise that I can do grown up push-ups (meaning the normal way, as opposed to doing it on my knees). This is the very first time in my whole life when I've managed this.
6. An abundance of books. I love that conundrum of finishing a book and having way too many to choose from for my next read. I am very, very privileged.
7. Going to bed when we please. We are a young, vibrant couple with no dependants or commitments, which means having the freedom to get home, put on our pajamas and have an early night. Bliss.
8. My otter pajama. Not explanation needed.

These chains are made for breakin'

Sometime this week while listening to my morning podcasts I came across an interesting post. It went something like this: when a baby elephant starts being domesticated he is bound with a metal chain on his ankle. This chain is secured to the floor by a wooden peg. At first the baby elephant will pull and pull and fight to free himself. As he learns that the chain cannot be broken, he stops resisting. Fast forward to when the elephant is a fully grown adult and the chain is reintroduced. Despite the fact that the mighty elephant could easily break the chain with a pull, he won't even try. Because he has learned that the chain cannot be broken. He is one of the most powerful animals to walk the Earth, and he keeps himself strapped to a puny chain because he can't see his circumstances have changed dramatically.

The post went on to talk about self-limiting beliefs and how most of our own limitations are in our head. They've been put there by our past experiences, by what we've been told, by what we've come to believe. And it all rang so true to me.

I am a couch potato at heart (I love spending time knitting and watching films, could do it for days on end), but that doesn't define me and it most certainly doesn't keep me from doing new things, from going out and exploring. I am scared of heights, but that fear doesn't own me. It isn't something carved in stone and set for life. These are things (like most things that) I can fight back. 

In the last couple of years I may not have changed much of how I speak about myself, and yet sometimes just a single word can make a world of difference. In past couple of years I've changed from saying "I am afraid of heights" to "I am currently afraid of heights". I went from saying "I can't run 5k" to "I can't run 5k yet".

And so today I completed my first 5k run. With inflatable obstacles. One of them a climbing wall. After listening to that particular podcast again, I made sure I jumped into every obstacle before my mind had a chance to evoke my fears. I could fall down. I could slip. I could hurt myself. I could make myself a fool in front of everyone. And so I ran and I jumped and I had the most fun my body's had in ages. Today I was playful and I was fearless, not because I didn't have any fears, but simply because I literally ran away from them.

And now I know I can. Now my chain is broken. And I vow to carry on breaking many more chains. Challenging myself. Becoming better that who I was yesterday. I've learned that all my chains are temporary, and in time I'll break 'em all and I'll run free.

PS: Want to read the full post I mentioned? Visit:

http://www.marcandangel.com/2013/09/02/5-things-you-should-know-about-letting-go/