That Autumn charm

So the second day of Autumn has dawned. Here's some of my favourite things about Autumn:

1. The warm colours. The reds, oranges and yellows as we slowly transition from a period of life and activity to one of rest and slumber.
2. The first days when fresh leaves fall. This is before it rains and they turn to mush. When you still feel them crunching under your feet. When a little childhood voice tells you to run and dive into a pile of them, gravity and dirt be damned.
3. Scented candles. Lighting candles in the Summer feels odd and out of place. Tea lights are fine, but those good, properly scented candles with word like "musk", "spice" or "warm" in the name feel way better used in colder weather.
4. Pumpkin and cinnamon flavoured/scented anything. Don't mind me, I'm just sprinkling cinnamon on everything like it's fairy dust. Yum!
5. Warm beverages. I will drink tea and coffee all year round, but the joy of wrapping my hands around a hot mug is exclusive to colder weather. So while I never stop drinking warm beverages, I feel I savour them in Autumn/Winter.
6. Indoor plans. As the weather turns and the temperature drops more and more time is spent inside. Where there's books and films and games.
7. Bonfire night and Hallowe'en. I moved to the UK at the end of August, so Bonfire Night and Hallowe'en were my very first seasonal celebrations and thus they hold a special place in my heart. Watching the fireworks by the light of a bonfire as you eat a hot dog - what's not to love?
8. Long sleeves. Yes! As much as I love warm weather and not wearing a coat outside, I also don't like to have my arms on display. Long sleeves are always a win
9. Soup. Say bye bye to salads and fresh fruit, and hello to warm soup! What better way to get your five a day than with a hearty bowl of carrot cream with a tad of cumin?
10. Watching telly with a blanket. This is what is amiss from Summertime telly; the weight and warmth of a blanket to snuggle under.
11. The first gingerly bite of cold when you go outside. No, I don't like feeling cold. But I like feeling a small chill in anticipation for how cosy it feels to be inside. This is something I learned from my boyfriend; feeling cold at least once a day to help you regulate your own temperature. Though I do it mostly to further expand the joy of being warm in a few minutes.
12. Hand cream. I tend to forget to use hand cream in the Summer, because it's not like my hands get chapped or need special care. So I forget how nice it feels to smell the most luscious scents just from your hands.  This year I am particularly in love with Bodyshop's seasonal vanilla pumpkin hand cream. What a dream!

Save Autumn!

Around this time each year I start getting really excited about Autumn. There are many reasons for this, which I shall voice in a separate post.

I feel sorry for Autumn. It is the underdog of seasons. Nowadays we barely experience Autumn. We extend Summer for as long as possible, and the moment that illusion is no longer possible, we jump on the Christmas bandwagon. I know a good chunk of this is due to capitalism (Hallowe'en is not nearly as profitable as Christmas), but it still surprises me that people fall for it. And this is something that makes me really upset.

The reason I am such a huge advocate for Autumn is not because it is my favourite season (which it isn't), but because it is the underdog of seasons and it seriously needs defending. Save Autumn! It is a valid season with many, many good things.

Most people (my boyfriend included) don't get this. They ask me how could I possible yearn for the cold and the rain, and the lack of light. And true, I don't particularly enjoy any of those things. But that doesn't mean the season is without wonder and beauty.

The way I see it, people go straight from Summer to Christmas, and then straight to wishing it's Spring again, just so it can be Summer soon! We don't enjoy the seasons to their fullest, and then we wonder why times slips through our fingers!

So in an effort to stop this, I am fighting the trend by finding joy in every season. And trust me, it's not a hard task at all.

I love Autumn, when you can wear long sleeves again, cinnamon and pumpkin scented/flavoured stuff everywhere, when you start craving hot drinks and sleep snug under a proper duvet. When you celebrate Hallowe'en and Bonfire Night.

I love Winter, with all the Christmas joy, snow, snuggling under a blanket, having hot apple cider and hearty food. Shepherd's pie with rosemary on top, lamb with mint jelly, crumbles, warm mince pies. And then the New Year, with its clean slate, new year new you stuff.

I love Spring, when everything blossoms to life again, days get longer, you Spring clean and declutter and you get more and more outdoors time. Picnics, walks and fresher food.

I love Summer, with its barbecues, cocktails and long and warm days. I like leaving the house without a coat, having Pimms on a Sunday, going to the beach and swimming in the sea.

And back to Autumn again.

Isn't this nice? Isn't this better?

This year, let's give Autumn a chance!

Thankful Thursday # 30

It is another rainy Thursday. Here we go:

1. My boyfriend. He is currently facing a new challenge and it is so wonderful witnessing him blossom and thrive. I am a lucky gal.
2. My packed lunch. I am very happy that I don't have to leave the office today in search for food, with all the rain falling.
3. Proper rain. I don't like that really light, airborne, gets-everywhere rain that you barely feel falling on you. If it's going to rain, then let it rain. I like unapologetic rain you can hear falling, rain that you feel bouncing off your umbrella, that gets you wet without deceit.
4. Books. Whereas 2017 was a year of films, 2018 has been a year of books. In case the sidebar didn't make that obvious enough!
5. Spotify. More than just having so much music a few swipes away, it brings Portuguese music closer. Before Spotify I would need to wait until my next trip home to buy any new music. Now, I can listen to it whenever I want. Win.
6. Autumn approaching. This is a post in an of itself, but suffice it to say for now that I am excited about the new season.
7. Work friends. In my current role I try to balance having lunches on my own, where I can read and meditate, with lunches with friends. Having lunch out with friends is great, you discover new places, you have a few laughs, you socialise for an hour, you get back to work feeling so refreshed and happy. I am blessed with several people like this to share my breaks with.

The parent and the child

I had a bad night yesterday, full of nightmares and restless sleep. So today I feel very, very small. Add to that a rainy morning and all I want is to curl up in bed and hug a teddy. Because I felt like this a lot when I was a kid, it's making me feel child-like. So today I am doing the opposite. Sort of.

There is a balance to be struck here, which turns out is one of the toughest things to achieve (at least for me). I want to move on, to shake this and go back to the typical adult that I am. However I don't want to ignore this, to bury it deep to fester. Because that's what always happens with unprocessed feelings. They fester. And even if they didn't, I think it's good practice to file them away how we want them, not in their raw, untamed state.

I have feelings that must be acknowledged and cared for. It is okay to feel bad. It's okay to be scared, even if the source of it is all in your head (isn't that the case most times, anyway?). The way I found most helpful to deal with this is to visualise separating myself into the child (the id, the emotional side of me, my irrational feelings and needs) and the parent (the ego, the listener of those feelings and needs). Part of me will speak about how I'm feeling, what I'm thinking, what I want and need, and the other part of me will listen, acknowledge and come up with a battle plan.

I got the inspiration for this after watching a TED talk from Mel Robbins. She talked about how  no one tells you that after you turn eighteen it is now your job to parent yourself, to make yourself do the things you don't want to do. So why not take it into other directions, like the parent listening to the distressed child? Because deep down we all keep our own inner child throughout our life, and sometimes they get upset. It's only natural.

This has been the sagest advice I ever followed. You know what happens when I don't? I lash out, sometimes directing my distress towards the wrong person. I self-medicate with chocolate and cakes (note the plural), or I numb myself by binge-watching Netflix or keeping too busy in order to distract my attention from my feelings. Or none of these things happens but the hurt is still there. And it will come out, one time or another. And I won't know to connect it to this initial event. I probably won't even remember this anymore.

So I practice awareness and kindness. This is where my semi-regular meditation practice comes to the rescue. If I can identify when I start to feel distress, then I can tend to it. Listen to the child. And come up with a responsible battle plan. Self-soothe with a bath or a cup of tea instead of crap food. Do something special. Write it down. Meet a friend. And tell myself why it is I am doing it. To mend whatever is cracked. To help the child. To help me get back to the adult I am.

Monday bliss

I like Mondays. It saddens me that they get such a bad rep.

The society we live in teaches us that Mondays are dreadful. The weekend is over and it's back to the grind. The rat race. The constant hustle and bustle. Being trapped in soulless workwear with a noose around your neck (that's ties for men) and no pockets (that most women's wear). Getting up early. Work, work, work.

But what if you shifted your perspective and looked at Mondays like teeny-tiny New Years? Because that is what they are. A new beginning. A brand new week. A blank canvas.

On Monday mornings I like to sit for five minutes and think about everything I am going to accomplish that week. I put it on paper to be revisited every morning that week. I put down how many times I intend to meditate, or go to the gym. I scribble big things I have to complete at work. I write down at least something nice for me (like watching a film, or finishing a book), something nice for us (like a couple's massage or some activity together, like baking), something extra for the house (like re-organising a cupboard), and something from my monthly goals list.

Big changes always start small, with a first step. Mondays could be your first step to reinventing yourself. Precisely because they are new and untainted. We do ourselves a huge disservice by starting them with dread and a sense of loss for the weekend.

This is no time to be disheartened; quite the opposite. Seize your week. Start with Monday.

Things I keep in my journal #1

So one of my resolutions for this year was to start a bullet journal. I've seen them around for a while and they all looked so so pretty and practical that I had to have a go! Eight months (and a bit) later and I am more and more enamored by my bullet journal as I was on day one. Here are some of the things I keep in there:

1. Last year's wins. What are my reasons to celebrate the year that has just finished? So often we only look at big achievements, like promotions, new jobs/houses/babies, a new milestone in our relationships, achieving some long-held dream, like running a marathon or passing your driver's test. But I find that if you take the time to really look, you will be amazed at the amount of stuff we conquer every year. From all those big things, to the first time you tried Greek food, or the first time you visited a particular place, or how many books you've read, etc, etc. Let all those things, big and small, inspire you to conquer more and more. To do more and to be more.
2. New year's resolutions. This is a classic. Do I even need to go on?
3. Monthly trackers. Every month I create a tracker page where I track a number of things throughout the month. Every few days I will look at it and colour the days when I achieved whatever it is I am tracking. Among the things I track are: exercise, meditation, bringing lunch to work, eating my five a day, my period, days when I moisturise my face before bed, doing 15 minute cleaning sprints around the house. This feels incredibly rewarding and can be extremely motivating (there are days when I only bother with moisturiser because I am on a streak, or because I want to add more colour to the tracker).
4. Monthly goals. Every month I list things I want to accomplish over the next thirty days. This is where new year's resolutions truly come alive, because I revisit them and vow to achieve at least one every month (where applicable). You can even add big things that happen that month that aren't exactly achievements, like a theatre outing, or a wedding you're going to.
5. Monthly wins. Same as with last years win, I like to look back at what I set out to do, celebrate those items I completed, and observe all the good things that happened that month. The big issue with new year's resolutions is that you seldom ever revisit them. So you forget. This is a way to keep your dreams present and make you accountable to making them come true.

Thankful Thursday # 29

This one is a staple of this blog and needs no introduction, so here we go:

1. My boyfriend. The family I chose to share my life with. My support and my inspiration, my comic relief when things go pear-shaped. My player two for life.
2. The end of Summer. I am a huge supporter of Autumn, so even though I will miss the warmth and the sunshine, I am starting to long for Autumn with all its delights.
3. Duvet weather. I like a heavy bed. I like how comforting it feels to sleep under a nice heavy duvet, all burrowed and comfy, so my sleep in Summer is never as decent as the colder seasons.
4. Books. Enough said.
5. Morning sunshine. I have developed a habit of sitting by a window at work before I start my day, people watching, meditating and listening to music. It is a great way to settle and prepare for a busy day, which is made so much better when it's nice and sunny.
6. Sheets drying outside. I can't explain why, but I just find the sight of sheets hanging outside, being blown by the gentle breeze, so soothing. The domesticity of it just brings me inner peace and spurs the love I have for our home.
7. My new bento box. I am so glad I invested in a nice (and pretty) bento box! I find that if my lunch is in cute container with all its little inserts to keep food separate, I am much more likely to bring food to the office, and make it healthier (because I will literally add vegetables for the main purpose of making it more colourful).