Declaring your ignorance

Ok, so when moving to a foreign country, no matter how familiar you think the culture is, be prepared to declare your ignorance. Kinda like going through customs. Not really, but I'm forcing the idea nonetheless. Go with it.

I spent most of my life in love with the English language and culture. I considered myself to be a fluent speaker, I absorbed the culture (and by that I mean cinema, literature and television) like an eager sponge. I began preparing for my move a year in advance. I stayed at my boyfriend's flat (now our flat) on a number of occasions before moving in. I was ready to fit in like a glove.

And then reality hit me. The truth of the matter is you know nothing. Whatever you imagined your new home to be is an incomplete frame of something much bigger. This is not a nation of Stephen Frys, that's just a part of it. Not every breakfast is supposed to be a grand full English. There are bright sunny days to be enjoyed.

My first barrier was - quite unexpectedly - the language. I was used to the proper BBC accent and then I landed somewhere in the Midlands. I couldn't make out what people said and I was absolutely shocked. So I started hearing other people's conversations on public transport. I know it sounds wrong, but for me it was a crucial step towards overcoming an unseen obstacle. Gradually, over time I started feeling more at ease and my ears picked colloquial English much faster. And when that doesn't work I pretend my allergies are acting up and my hearing is off.

Then there's pop culture. As I moved about in my new home I noticed that when I could make out the words of what people were saying, a lot of the time I had no clue what they were going on about. I didn't recognise a single face on magazine covers. I didn't get references that would send people into fits of raucous laughter.

And a multitude of other assorted aspects of everyday life. Getting used to walking down the stairs on a double decker without looking like an idiot. Finding your way around. Learning about the "new" holidays and new customs (I had no idea what you're supposed to do on Boxing Day or what Pancake day was until the day was nearly over and it was too late to have my pancake), new foods, new routines and pretty much a new way of life. When in Rome, I guess...

So for all of this I soon learned that the best way to go about it is to declare your ignorance. Forget what you thought you knew and trust the natives. Imagine, if you will, that you're a five year-old again and you're learning the world anew. And let go of who you were. This is the time to reinvent yourself. If you really want to make in your new home it then you need to chance. To adapt. To embrace your ignorance and start over. Mind you, it's not an easy frame of mind to maintain long term. It's deeply humbling and it takes a great sense of humility. But if you can do it I promise you'll be so much better for it. You'll feel at home much faster. You'll grow. You'll learn. You'll be one of us. And we have cookies.