The art of departure

Even to the well seasoned traveller, leaving is hard.

Yesterday I came back from a two week holiday in Portugal. I have been doing this for five years now, and even though I got really good at it, on some level it's always hard. Because I care. Because regardless of how much I love my new life, I also love what I'm leaving behind. The people, the places, the weather, the food, the people, the people, the people.

So how do I do it?

The secret of a good, clean departure starts with a good arrival. Plan what you want to do, make a list of everything thing you want to do, people to see, places to revisit, food to savour, activities to do. Then have a good look at it and accept that life will get in the way, some things will not get crossed, others will happen. Go with it. The secret of a good departure starts with making the most of your time so you can leave with no regrets.

But how do you leave? This is what works for me.

I focus on the task at hand instead of the act of leaving. I emotionally cut myself free of the place where I am physically and begin focussing on getting back to where my life is. Packing the hold luggage. Then the cabin luggage. Then I set my alarm and plan how to get to the airport. Then doing the check in. Passing security, getting food and drink. Finding my gate. I go as far as I can until I have to stop, I don't stay idle and before I notice it I'm sitting down and the plane is taking off.

In my mind the flight itself is no man's land. It's a peaceful sort of limbo that allows me to cherish the memories I bring with me, lets me grieve and process and then look ahead to what I have to look forward to. In a book I read recently one of the characters said something like I will not let myself be sad about the past because that will steal me time and energy that I will need to make myself a brighter future. I'm grossly paraphrasing, but that was the gist of it, I swear.

The secret of a happy departure is how bright you make your current surroundings when you arrive. Enjoy the sunny/rainy/cloudy/bright/dark skies, the temperature, the familiar places, the food and flavours, the people you are returning to. Remember that famous Edith Piaf song that tells you to look at life though rose-tinted glasses? La vie en rose it was called. Do that! See the silver lining in everything. It might be hard at first, but I promise that it's like any other muscle; once you get the hang of it it gets better, fun even!

The secret of a successful departure is to get started on new projects. I like to make a list during the flight. I look at coming back like a sort of new years; look at my life, make resolutions, get my planning done, get ready to make it a reality.

I've been back for only twenty four hours and all I can feel is the happiness of my surroundings, the smell of freshly fallen rain, the stunning red sunset, the warmth of my boyfriend's hands. All I can think of is the new projects I want to start, from buying new curtains to getting my upper body muscles ready to go climbing again, to keep on dieting until I get into my new blue dress in time for the Christmas party!

Even to the well seasoned traveller, leaving is hard. But it only gets as hard as you let it be.