Ode to the body

I'm starting a new weight loss program and usually when you start one of those you come from a point of loathing towards what you see in the mirror, right?

This used to be me. I used to dread passing by a mirror and I would dive away when someone attempted to take a picture. I used to look at my reflection before/after a shower and I would scrutinise every single gram of fat visible. And I hated myself. So I ate to drown that hate and misery, which only lead to guilt, which in turn lead to more eating. Not the best place to start, is it?

But now, as I am just starting to embark on a healthier venture, my vision has changed and my perspective has shifted. I don't just see fat, I see a really strong body burried underneath.

I look at my body and I feel a deep sense of pride and amazement.

I have an awesome body.

Yes, it is fat, overweight, unfit, unhealthy and - according to societal standards - unattractive. But look at how much it has overcome! It has been put through an absurd amount of emotional trauma while I have fed it nothing but sugar and processed food for most of its existence. It has been put on a shelf (aka the sofa in front of the tv); it has never been used for play or much movement.

And yet here it is! I am not diabetic nor do I suffer from any major ailment. I am not bed-ridden with my fat dangling from the sides of the bed. I can walk. I can move freely. I can't run much, but I can set a goal and start working toward it right now. I can dance.

And I can choose to be kinder to a body that has done so much with so little.

It took me most of my life to see it this way.

And this is where I choose to start my journey.