Wednesday, 11 June 2014

The angst from a world of choice



I love to read. Always have and suspect always will. When people ask me what I like to read I'm often at a loss for words because I can read pretty much anything. Mostly I read fiction and I tend to stay away from girly romance stuff and crime/horror novels. Other than that I'll read anything that remotely spikes my interest. So I'm acutely, painstakingly aware that I will never - ever! - read all the books I want even if I devoted my life entirely to that wonderful task. There are just too many books!

The problem here is mostly the variety of genres and topics I will pick up. Say you're a hardcore sci-fi reader. You have a vast but limited amount of titles to choose from and throughout the years you can feel that you are actually making a dent, you can see your progress and call yourself a true hardcore sci-fi reader. Me on the other hand, not so much. Because I have such varied taste in books I can't actually call myself an expert on anything. And worst of all, the number of titles on my do-read list is endless (and growing bigger and bigger by the year). Which is why I say if I were ever given the choice of a superpower I'd choose the ability to freeze time so I could make the most of all by hobbies and have time for all those books!

And the same applies to everything else. People sometimes point out that I don't stick to things, that I'll be doing yoga or knitting a scarf and without rhyme or reason, at the flick of an invisible switch, I'll stop and move on to something else (sometimes I'll get back to it within a week or a year, sometimes I won't). There just isn't enough time, people! So I'll dab a bit here and a bit there, try a bit of this and a bit of that because it's just physically impossible to seriously devote myself to the things I love because there's just too many of them and only one of me! So unless I get bitten by a very special kind of spider, I don't think I can change things that much.

Picture this: you're a grown-up with a full-time job and a flat that you share with your loved one. In your spare time (which you can see is limited) you'd like to read loads of books, watch loads of movies, stitch, knit, dance, sing, do yoga, learn French, learn Spanish, socialise, travel, play loads of boardgames, etc, etc, etc. Either you pick a couple and neglect everything else, or you take turns between your hobbies. Simple as that.

I haven't got this completely down yet (who knows if I ever will!) but for now the trick is to focus on what you're doing and not look at the bigger picture too much. If I look around my local bookshop too much I'll end up like a hyperactive puppy on coffee, just running around and thinking to myself "I want this one, and this one and - oh look!, shiny! I want that one as well!" Not a pretty picture. Not to mention the angst of knowing you'll never get through them all.

Other than that I just go with the flow. Yes, I'm like a fickle butterfly going from flower to flower without a care in the world, but all these things I've mentioned are hobbies, so what does it matter how I go about it or if I ever become a master at any of them? As long as I'm having fun, right?


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