Where is the life that once I led?*

Three days ago I was leading my life as normal. It was just another awesome day. I was happy, everything in my life seemed to be coming together. I had a job I loved, I was maddly in love with the greatest man I've ever met and with whom I've been sharing my life and a flat for almost three years, I was surrounded by amazing people, I had my holidays booked for the summer and then Christmas at my dad's (finally!), loads of cute little plans for the next couple of weeks of getting together with friends, going to Comic Con in London, picnics and all sorts of outings.

And then something changed. And my life seems to have been turned upside down like one of those snow globes that you shake and I know that even when I manage to get back to the right position and angle nothing will be the same. The snowflakes that made up my life will fall differently and I will need to adjust to a new reality.

I have decided that I will be positive about it. Or as positive as I can. Make no mistake, I am distraught. The life I was living was close to perfect. So no, I do not want it to change, not one small bit of it. And yet it must. So the only choice I have in the matter is how to face the storm. In the words of Daenerys Targaryen "If I look back I am lost", so instead of acknowledging what I've lost and how awesome my life was just three days ago I need to look forward. I need to think how I can make this new reality work. I need to distill these past few months and take with me only the good bits that will allow me to have a brighter future than I would've had if those five months hadn't existed at all.

I will persevere and I will weather this storm better equiped than I've ever been before. Sure, it hurts now. It will probably still hurt for a very long time. But as the days go by I believe the choices I've made so far will turn out to be the right ones for me. I have a sort of plan. And somehow it will work out in the end. Because happiness isn't just a collection of good things that happen to you, but the sum of effort, luck, the right frame of mind and a desire to make things work. 

*Kiss me Kate, The Musical