Planning ahead

One thing I've learned is that there are some celebratory days from home that cannot go amiss. Even though you're living abroad some dates from your homeland must still stand, if not for your sake, for the sake of the loved ones you left behind. Because even though you're somewhere new where you can clearly feel (and see) you've turned a new leaf,  where there's new customs and ways to learn, for them the world is still the same minus your presence and the gap you left in their lives.

Remembering and acting accordingly takes effort. You might think it won't, that you'll always remember those dates, but don't underestimate the importance the media has in being our calendar. This year if it wasn't for the Portuguese podcast I listen to every morning on my way to work I'd surely have forgotten about Father's Day until it was too late. If you think about it you probably never had to remember an important celebratory day without it being fully advertised at least two weeks in advance. Think about it... I'm sure you can now see how right I am in this. Unknowingly and without much effort we rely on the media to remind us of the important dates. Christmas, Valentines, Easter, Mother's Day, Pancake Day, etc, etc. You think it's all you, but if all that visual reinforcement wasn't there can you really be so sure you'd remember?

Then there's the matter of time. When you live nearby to those you love a card and a present bought on the eve of the event might suffice. When you live a thousand miles away... not so much. So you need to remember with time to spare and act in advance. To mail a present or arrange some sort of surprise for the person intended.

The trickiest one for me is Father's Day. Because it's a day that is also celebrated in the UK I think my brain kind of relaxes a bit and doesn't dwell on it too much. The problem is that here Father's Day is in June and in Portugal is in March. So if I want to send a Father's Day card to my dad I have two options: 1) print one myself when closer to the date or 2) buy one in June and pray I still remember where the hell I've put it when March comes rolling by. Or 3) buy a father's birthday card and scratch the birthday bit. I guess which one happened this year? Exactly, 3).

Anyhoot, the message here is simple: remember, remember, your loved ones are still living by their country's calendar, not your new one, so if you want to keep celebrating those special days you need to go about it with a lot less spontaneity than you did before. Planning here is key to making everyone happy. And avoid nasty last minute surprises. Which I guess we can all do without.

A meerkat in Paris

Last year we had a short getaway to Paris. It was in a word idillic, in two movie-like. We arrived at our little hotel close to the Gare du Nord at night, spent the next day strolling around the city doing many touristy things and flew back the next (before I had time to eat half the city's supply of macaroons). And it was absolutely perfect. Paris is a city destined to steal hearts. At least mine.

Oddly enough I think I appreciate Paris all the more now that I'm living abroad. Because this city (and I guess France in general) feels so much closer to home than the UK. Don't get me wrong, I love love love living in the Midlands, but this is a land where I had to adapt and learn so much because even the tiny things are so different from the way things are in Portugal. In Paris I would look outside our window and if I ignored the street names and the language I could pretend I was in downtown Lisbon. Because the city itself and the culture are so close to home. It makes sense for things to be this way, I mean, Portugal and France are both romance cultures, whereas the UK is germanic so those two are bound to be closer. Also for decades France has been the number one destination for Portuguese that wish to live abroad, so I imagine you could easily find a community to support you and all your national cravings.

And it got me thinking - what would've happened if I (we) had chosen to move to France instead? Language-wise it might have been harder at first, simply because I dedicated so much of my life to master the English language and practically ignored the French, even though it's so much closer to my mother tongue. But two weeks, maybe a month, and I'd be fine on that score. Architecturally it'd be bittersweet because it would be so much closer to home and yet it would be someplace new. Still, very small learning curve, I believe. Culturally it would be much easier than the UK. I find the French frame of mind is very similar to the Portuguese, so again, very low impact. Moving to France would be like being a foreigner in a parallel, alternate version of home. Sure it isn't the same as being in Portugal, several things I can't even think of now would make it hard to adapt, maybe we'd have to jump through different hoops than the ones we had when moving to the UK, yet I can't help but feel that overall it would've been so much easier.

One the flight back I was a bit sadden by all the troubles and tribulations that could have been avoided had we made a different geographic choice. How much simpler it could've been. How much closer to home we could be on so many aspects. I envied all the foreigners living in Paris for how easy they had it.

But that's all neither here nor there. At the end of the day I know all those feeling and thoughts were nothing more than a meaningless fancy born of the desire to cling to my own hometown. I love living here, I moved to this country for a variety of reasons and I wouldn't change any of it for the world. Sure, when in Paris it all felt a bit like a lot pointless pain and effort to go through when in comparison, but deep down I know everything I experienced as a foreigner, despite how steep the learning curve, was worth it. This is the country where I fell in love with a truly wonderful man. It's where our home is. Where I got the best job in the world. And it's I hope to spends many happy decades. Where I wish to build my future. This is now my home.

And Paris will always be there, just a flight away. Waiting to be rediscovered. Again and again.

Thankful Thrusday # 7

Hello, everyone! I know it's a bit late into the day, but are you ready to get thanful? Here we go!

1. My boyfriend. Back to the basics this week. When all is said and done this is one of the biggest blessings I have in my life. I live with an amazing partner without whom my life would be miserable and pitiful in comparison to what I have living by his side.
2. My job. It's been some mad couple of weeks, but I go home knowing it was towards something important and meaningful. Plus I love what I do and the people I work with, which makes my days so much more interesting. For the very first time in my life I am truly happy in the whole work department.
3. Lent. Even though I'm catholic I'm not really that religious. This year, however I decided to do Lent and give up something. Chocolate. I know! Forty days with no chocolate?? For now I'm keeping true to my resolution (even though I spent half my day next to an open box of Cadburys fingers!), not really because of religious purposes, but because I really need to stick to it and a challenge is a great way to get results (if you stick to it).
4. Disposable income. I trully appreciate the fact that I don't need to count pennies through the month. I pamper myself every workday with fresh toast and every now and then I lunch out. And to be able to do it in a carefree manner feels great!
5. Staying afloat and rising to the challenge. This week I had a lot on my plate and had several challenges and new responsibilities to deal with and I'm grateful I managed to stay on top of everything. It's been a steep learning curve, but I'm so proud of myself that it should be put in writing.
6. Porridge. Who knew I could be a cereal person? The fact of the matter is I love my morning porridge breakfast with banana and cinnamon. Yummy and filling for several hours. Perfect!
7. Having time to relax. The next several weekends are filled with good stuff. Friends over, pizza, shopping sprees, a falconry lesson, a trip to somewhere new and hopefully many memorable moments. So I'm taking this weekend to celebrate the fact that we can just sit back and relax. Just us.

Swapping and mixing traditions

Yesterday the Portuguese celebrated Carnival (think Hallowe'en without the scary and ghoulish bits). Here in the UK it was National Pancake Day. As a foreigner I get to choose which to concentrate on (internally at least... I don't think people at the office would appreciate having me in a costume without good reason...). Being a foreigner means that you get to decide what to focus on. It can be where you came from, where you are or both (or none, but what's the fun in that?).

Usually I try to do both if possible (the more partying the better, right?), here, because I never was much of a Carnival kinda person (or maybe I just never had much opportunity to fully enjoy it), it was a no brainer - pancakes trump costumes! Since moving this was the easiest native celebratory day to open my heart to. I mean, what's not to love about a day dedicated to eating pancakes?  Right? Yummy, delicious, savoury or sweet pancakes...

Anyhoot, in my experience celebrating with the natives makes it so much easier to feel integrated. By all means celebrate your native holidays and whatnot, but don't let that become a barrier into your new life. Remember, you chose this (or least so I like to believe). Embrace it. It doesn't mean you'll have to betray your roots or exchange one thing for another. It just means you can have a fuller calendar. And more reasons to celebrate. And that's always a win.

February in review

I know February is the shortest month of the year, but in 2014 the whole thing felt like no more than a week! It just flew by faster than a bullet train. So much so that I'm a bit at a loss for what say about it...

Job-wise it was great! I love, love, love my job and even though lately there's been a mammoth-sized amount of work to be done and I've been running around like a headless chicken, I still love going to work everyday and time just seems to fly faster than I can catch it. It's still quite a new feeling, this thrilling new found love for my profession and I'm just over the moon with it. If I were a morning person I'd jump out of bed every day with a smile on my face... as it is I get up, drag myself around the house, have my beloved first dose of caffeine and will be smiling by the time I leave the house. Not bad indeed!

Besides my busy work life, the rest of my time has been for housework and chilling indoors, preferably in a sitting or fully horizontal position. Or working out. Yes, that has been happening! By the end of the first week of February I began to feel increasingly sluggish, since the vast majority of my day was now spent sitting down in front of a computer. It got to a point where my metabolism had slowed down so much that most days I didn't have dinner because at 7pm I was still full from lunch at 1pm. So I decided to give my body the shock treatment and make it work every single day to perk my metabolism up. Hence I came to Jillian Michael's 30 day body shred. And my does it hurt! And by hurt I mean work. And hurt. I have noticed some minor changes (the minor part due to not doing it every single day like a should, bad meerkat!) and will continue with this for the whole of March.

Then there was my birthday! I love celebrating my birthday! Not so much because of the presents I get, but mostly because I get in touch with so many people that wish me well. Some of whom I don't have much opportunity to catch up with for most of the year. And I love being pampered. And so it was that on the eve of my birthday (because the real thing fell on a saturday) I arrived at work and my desk was filled with goodies - balloons, cake, cupcakes, flowers, a card and a present, the whole nine yards! Oh, and my favourite touch, a youtube video of Happy Birthday being sung in Portuguese. My office is the best! On the day itself me and the boyfriend treated ourselves to a day trip to London. This time for a shopping spree in Portobello market and a taste of Portuguese pastries. I forgot to take the pedometer with me, which was a shame because the overall distance we walked was worthy of note!

The rest is in-between bits. The housework stuff, the commute, the spending quality time with the boyfriend, the saturday strolls around Birmingham, the night reads before turning off the lights, etc, etc. And now onwards to March!

Thankful Thursday # 6

Hello boys and girls. Did you miss Thankful Thursday last week? I really didn't feel like doing it not because I didn't have things to be thankful for, but rather because I just couldn't be bothered. I mean, this is something I do because I like, because it makes me feel better about my life. It shouldn't feel like a chore. So I skipped a week. Ready for this week's batch?

1. Time flying fast. It was only at 5pm today that I realized this was a thursday. Thrusday!! I've been so busy and so concentrated on the things I have going on in my life right now that I can't believe tomorrow isn't just tuesday. Weeks simply have been flying by. And it's great when days don't drag, don't you think.
2. As a result of time flying by, tomorrow's a friday! Weekend ahead! Woop woop!
3. Celebrating my birthday. Not because of the presents, but rather because I love being showered will all the attention, all the phone calls and facebook updates and hearing from people I don't get much of a change to speak to most of the year except on special occasions. And cake! All hail cake!
4. Lack of traffic on half term weeks. Usually it takes me forty five minutes to get to work. This week - all week - I drove happily to my destination in less than twenty.
5. Treating myself to a day trip to London, one of the three cities that hold the key to my heart. I even like the train trip, just perfect for a bit of extra and much craved for reading.
6. Having fun at the workplace. Which I do, every single day! Tomorrow I'm banned from the office until it's actually my time to start working... I suspect there may be birthday cake involved in all this plotting...

Nothing but the rain

It's been raining a lot lately. And by raining I mean we should have started building an ark ages ago because at this rate we will soon all be underwater. A few days ago on one of my walks around town with my flimsy little umbrella I thought of something that hasn't crossed my mind in years. My grandmother had an umbrella, a small but proper one. For years and years it was always the same olive greenish thing of sturdy built that never once got turned over. And I wonder what happened to it, who did I gave it to and why the hell didn't I keep it. At the time of her death I had a lot on my mind to worry about a silly umbrella. But looking back I wish I had. Because I chose to live in a very (very!) wet country and having a constant reminder of her would've been nice.

You see, my grandmother passed away in 2010. One day she was fine and two days later she simply wasn't here anymore. We were never close, not as much as she wished and as much as I needed, and yet that was the status quo. Mine is a complicated family history. Suffice it to say the word "feud" is a poor description. And so it was easier to not get involved. To keep people away.

And now all I have is the regret of all that was left unsaid and undone. Now there is only one living being with whom share the same genetic heritage from that side of my family, and all the stories and recipes and mementos are lost forever. When my maternal uncle died I had two weeks to empty the house they lived in for over fifty years. And I had only my own bedroom to store whatever I chose to keep, so I kept very little. The tea set, a few pictures of people I could identify as family members, one of her scarves and little else. And now I wish I had kept the umbrella. I sure could use it now. The umbrella and a bit of family love. The one we never actually expressed openly.

The celebration train

When you move to a foreign country the first thing you're bound to feel is isolation. You left your country, your home, your family and friends behind. Ahead is a seemingly endless sea of days without any of it. And no matter how promising your new life is, the emptiness caused by all the things that have ceased to be part of your life aches. A lot. And the day when you travel back for no matter how long always feels a million light years away. So what do you do? How do you cope?

Personally I focused on smaller milestones. On holidays and any reason to celebrate. My first week living abroad. Then the first month. Then my boyfriend's birthday. Then Hallowe'en. Bonfire Night. Our anniversary. Christmas. New Years. Valentines. Pancake Day. My Birthday. And soon enough I was celebrating my first year abroad.

Very much like a train that stops in every little village until it reaches the big city, I was always concentrating on the next item on the celebratory list. I avoided thinking "there's still seven months until I see my family again". Instead I looked forward to the next holiday. Just two weeks to go. And then only a month until it's time to celebrate something else again. I was denial when it came to looking at the bigger picture. And it worked.

I know it might sound childish and stupid, but there's no arguing over the results. Living abroad is tough and not for the faint of mind/heart. You're entitled to a few coping mechanisms. Besides, this type of thinking will help you blend in so much faster. And by blend in I mean learn the way of the land and learn to enjoy it just like the natives do. Think about it - what's not to love about a day dedicated to eating pancakes? Or having an extra day after Christmas to just chill out? And you can still celebrate your old holidays, even it is on a smaller scale.

Ponder on this - you're not really trading your native train for a new one, you're just adding more stops along the way! And that's progress!

Thankful Thursday # 5

Wow is it that time of the week already? How time flies when you're busy having fun! Well, here we go then!

1. Pink sunrises. It's like the promise of a sunny day, albeit not always a true one. Still, it's pretty and I like to believe the sun will shine bright every time I see one.
2. My boyfriend's cooking classes. The leftovers I take the next day are always the envy of the office. And so tasty I have to ration it before tasting otherwise I'd eat a double serving of what I should. Yum!
3. Valentines. I know it's still a week away, and you can always argue it's just another concoction society came up with to make us spend money for no good reason. I say any reason to party and celebrate and shower a loved one with gifts are welcomed.
4. Working next to a window. When given the chance to choose I desk I chose one where I could see a bit of sky. I'm Portuguese, I seriously need the light. And it makes all the difference!
5. My new boots. One of the first (and very few) things I splurged my first wages on and so so worth it. And I don't say this lightly, I'm a sissy when it comes to footwear, especially if there are heels involved. So yeah, really good purchase.
6. Being a foreigner. It basically gives you an unlimited supply of small talk. And it gives you loads of funny stories for parties or when there's a dull moment in the office (which I've never experienced yet)
7. Driving in the UK with the same cds I had in my Portuguese car. I'm listening to the Beatles and suddenly the M6 could easily be just another stretch of the A5. Weird how that works, right?

January in review

I can't believe January is a thing of the past. That's 1/12 of the year gone. Puff! Like smoke. In the night so as to disappear undetected and in a shady manner. And I must admit I'm not quite ready for February yet. Are you? Are you keeping to your resolutions for 2014? Because I haven't even quite started most of them! Oh well, so what exactly was January up to?

The big item this year is the new job. So it was that as January was still in its infancy I started a new career that was quick to catch my heart. I've said it on a few occasion and I'll repeat it again - I love my job. And I love everything that comes with it. I love my work, I love my colleages, I love my days, my new routines, my tupperware lunches with leftovers, even my commute is pleasant.

So January was all about the job. And what wasn't about the job was about running the rest of my life whilst having a job. Housework and all that. And to be quite honest I think I did I good job. The job went great, the house was fine, all meals were planned in advance, all ironing done before a new week started, there was never anything to be done last minute. We even had a bit of a weekend away in Oxford with friends and yummy cocktails.

But I expect more of February. It's time to step things up a bit more. It's time to get cracking with my diet and get my sorry behind to the gym on a regular basis. It's time to live a bit more. To do more with my time. And it's high time I get on with it!